#64: How to Prioritize When You’re Unclear On Your GoalsAug 10, 2023
You're unclear on your goals — but you still have time & energy you have to...use up on stuff.
Here's some actionable guidance for when you're in this super common, usually uncomfortable place:
1. Remove the pressure to know ALL the answers RIGHT now
Start where you are: If you have questions you want answered, make your goal “answer those questions.”
The biggest problem I see in this department is that we think we can’t get started until we have answers, but that puts the expectation on the answers to show up on our doorstep.
I say, save yourself 5+ years and get into action answering those questions now
Warning: It’s not as simple and instant gratificationy as checking a box (if it were easy to know what you want, it’d be easy!). But the simple mindset shift of going from “I’m not ready, I can’t get going, I don’t know enough yet” to “I’m in action towards figuring out what I want” is MASSIVE.
You move yourself from a position of disempowered to empowered. You start seeing yourself make progress. You eventually can’t argue with the fact that you DO know more than 2 weeks or 2 months ago, even if you don’t have the complete shiny glittering answer your brain really wants – if you’re committed to this goal of answering the question, and you’re in messy, totally imperfect action towards it, you will not be able to help making progress. Getting more clarity. YES.
2. Sometimes a question that helps clients get unstuck is “If you did know what you were going to do next – not for the rest of time, but this week, whether it’s sending an email, looking something up, trying something out, whatever – what would you say?”
I repeat: If it were easy to answer that, it would be easy.
If it’s not, ask a higher quality question. One that’s answerable, that can lead you to your next (tiny) step.
I know, sneaky right! But it works. Because it asks you to envision yourself as someone taking action. You imagine what you would do if you were doing anything. And that’s the golden ticket to taking action amongst a ton of uncertainty. You have to give yourself the opportunity to imagine that you DO know enough, that you CAN take action.
Remember, your mind may be inclined to ask a low quality question like “What’s the FINAL, GIANT answer” - especially if that’s what you’ve been asking for the last month or year.
3. Consider taking yourself through the Clarity Workshop.
It's an instant download self-paced mini-course, and for 90 minutes and less than 40 bucks, you'll clarify your:
- What you care about, what really matters in a meaningful way once we get past the tangible goals du jour.
- It’s deeply satisfying to know you’re taking an action because it’s in alignment with your values – that’s clarity. And it’s available to you whether or not you know exactly what job you want or where you wanna live or what new hobby you wanna take up next.
- Don’t deprive yourself of that.
- Who do you tell yourself you are, and who do you want to be?
- We need reminding of who we’re becoming on purpose, in order to steer ourselves there. Otherwise we stay how we’ve always been and end up however we happen to become, which doesn’t feel intentional, takes a long ass time, and leaves a lot of space for our Negativity Bias and chronic self-criticism to take up, which unfortunately will weigh in on your self-story more than the good stuff if it’s just left up to your brain on its own.
- Imagine this: Clients create a vision statement like “I take up space for myself first” or “I have fun being fully myself” and then we coach for several months. They move through their daily life with this vision at the top of their minds. And when we check in months later, that story is not longer a “future, someday ideal” – it’s REAL. It’s what they’ve trained themselves to see in the mirror, it’s how they’ve practiced being.
- How long would it take you to just become the person who takes up space for yourself first on your own??
- This is often the most difficult challenge for people, so we make it easy.
- You get 3 options for how to approach goal setting, because not everyone is in the same place here: Some people are clear on big things but need help with the details of what they want, other people feel like they’re staring at an overwhelming blank slate, etc.
- Wherever you are – I’ve gotchyoo. We walk through how to get the information you need to prove to yourself I know enough right now to identify my goals and get into action, and then you do!
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